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The 5 Stages of XCOM 2 (Number 4 is Too Real)

- February 28, 2016 -
The 5 Stages of XCOM 2 Teaser

Alright, let’s get in a little circle and have a good cry about XCOM 2 kicking our candy asses. It’ll be ok, shhh, it’ll be ok.

But it has to get worse before it gets better, these are the 5 stages of XCOM 2 we all must suffer through.

 The 5 Stages of XCOM 2

 Planning & Preparation

You’re a strategic genius, you got this. Your friends probably come to you for XCOM advice, your puny neighbors worships you, and you only play the most hardcore strategy games. You’ve researched and developed all of the right items, nothing’s gonna stop you now.


You fucking got this, bro. You’ve overseen more battles than Genghis Khan. They may have been virtual but they sure as hell felt real. Your tactics will not be outplayed by a silly AI, there’s just no way. You got this.

Utter Devastation

Never mind, you never had it. You were never even close. Seriously, your granny could’ve done better. She played OG XCOM before you were even born. You’ve become a dank pepe meme, that’s how hard you’ve failed. What the fuck bro? Everyone thought you were good at this. Guess not.


Oh God, they’re all dead because of you. BECAUSE OF YOU. You led honored heroes to horrifying deaths with your incompetence. Humanity is doomed. Game over man, game over.

A New Hope

Time to try again, and this time you totally got this. No one’s going to see your old save file. Huh? What save? Exactly. You’re a battlefield legend with more experience than anyone else, you’re a God amongst men, you’re the most badass motherfucker on the planet.

You. Got. This.


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About Abhishek Chaudhry

Abhishek is an avid gamer, and designer. He is never wrong about anything, which people often find intimidating, but he's actually a great guy! Follow him on Twitter.